Once upon a time, I noticed that I wasn’t the only orphan in the world. I also noticed that many people I knew and loved were orphaned not by death, but by DIFFERENCES. Their differences from their parents, whether it be politics, religion, sexual orientation, career choices, parenting choices, etc., had effectively left them without a “mom”
And by “MOM,” I mean that person you call when you need advice from someone you can count on to have your back, to be honest (sometimes brutally so), to be on your team, even when that means pissing you off, to be mad when someone wrongs you, and to listen to you cry.
By “MOM,” I mean that person you want to tell when you “win:” when you overcome obstacles and fears, finish in first place, get a new job, learn a new thing, etc. I mean the person who will celebrate YOU, just because you’re YOU.
By “MOM,” I mean the person who teaches you the things you’re ashamed to admit you don’t already know, or the things you’re afraid to ask. I mean the person who will teach you about sex, positive relationship skills, cooking, shopping, navigating TOUGH conversations, standing up for yourself (especially in medical and educational contexts!), breastfeeding, the meaning of life, religion and spirituality, ethics, etc.
Once upon a time, I heard a small voice (I think it was my own…) within me, saying, “You ARE the woman you’re looking for…” and I felt frustrated, because I wanted that woman to be external to myself. I wanted her to be someone who existed “out there,” where I could call upon her, myself.
Then I discovered that being that woman for others gave me opportunities to feel that support vicariously. I discovered that I COULD build relationships with other women that were MUTUALLY supportive. I discovered that I could be that woman for myself, by radically accepting myself, right where I am, every day. Finally, I discovered that we EACH have that woman within us, and that every other person I know needs permission to be the woman we’re looking for. So this is YOUR permission: Enjoy what’s freely offered, here. Then, please pass it on. We all need support.
Once upon a time, I decided to start podcasting, in the hopes that all the things I simply must share will be helpful to others. I share in the hopes that all my fellow orphans will find a Mother’s heart, a Mother’s wisdom, a Mother’s practical advice, a Mother’s acceptance, and a Mother’s availability, here.
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